Hilarious Homeschooling: Boobs, Gravity, & Peeing in Space.

children's drawing planet earth and family in space

© Miss P, 5.97 years-old.

There are things that we say, when we think our kids aren’t listening, that come back to haunt us mostly, and occasionally lead to great teachable moments.

This morning, I was laying in bed, when my baby (3.5 years) crawls in, pulls up my t-shirt and starts laughing exclaiming I am not wearing my ‘boob thing’!

Then my nearly six-year-old –and yes I am cherishing every last second of her being five– comes over and declares:

Maman, I heard you once talking on the phone, or iPad, or computer, and you said that if you wore a boob thing your boobs would fall but if you didn’t they could stay up by themselves.

For starters, I am not scientifically illiterate as that statement would suggest. Like all political discourse these days, my words were taken out of context!  What P had overheard was me telling a friend how I couldn’t believe my naïveté, many moons ago, when a hippy friend of mine persuaded me that boobs are muscle and if you don’t work the muscle, etc… You get the picture. How I bought this, despite my stack of National Geographic mags in the corner of my room, is beyond me. Anyhow, running for the bus on a daily basis quickly let me back to my senses before too much ‘damage’ was done.

And here’s where my ninja thinking kicked in. I realised what a great opportunity I had to explain gravity! Because really, what better way to talk about gravity than pairing it with sagging boobs.

 

The rest goes something like this:

paint by number empty paint pots on floorMe, reaching over for one of the many pieces of hoarded tat my kids stuff into my bedside table:

“Watch this empty paint by numbers paint container fall to the floor. See that? If we were in outer-space it would just float away! Instead G-R-A-V-I-T-Y makes it fall to the floor”

I pause, feeling like there is some connection to be made to a previous conversation that had not gone so well.

“Remember when you asked me why we don’t fall off the planet? Gravity is what keeps us there!

My imaginative kid then usually likes to put her own spin on it

“Yes! that’s right, the air, like water but invisible keeps us on the planet!”

Me: Um, not exactly. Remember the… er can’t remember their name in English… you know –les aiments– that pull metal pieces to them?”

P: You mean magnets?

Me: Yes! (sigh when I  realize our entire conversation has been in English and not in French) well it’s sort of the same, the force called gravity pulls us towards earth so we don’t fall off!

Then, I know there is always a sure-fire way to really drive a point home in our household.

Me: So what do you think happens when we go peepee in space?

P: It floats away!

And so the conversation continues with plans for a family vacation in space and how we will handle the possibility of two people pooping while someone needs to peepee if there are only two toilets on the rocket. I am briefly tempted to mention that reading is probably a required skill before boarding a spaceship but I’ve killed the learning moment countless times beating that poor horse. For once, I apply the lesson I repeatedly learn, and suggest she goes make a picture of outer-space.

Et voilà! I’ve not only given my first physics lesson, while sipping tea in bed, I’ve also just bought myself time to write a blog post about it.

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Afterthoughts on homeschooling/un-schooling and my ongoing neuroses.

1. I am pretty sure there is no way I could have engineered a moment so perfectly to get this conversation going. These are the times where I really think un-schooling  and child-led education is the way to go. Sadly, all too often, I  doubt myself and worry that most of my friends’ kids are already reading or nearly there and mine just has no interest. To push or not to push remains an internal argument I have regularly.

2. The other day we were doing a wonderful activity on our place in the world. (Activity featured on what is currently my favorite educational website: kids world citizen) and P had her usual ‘I CANT’ meltdown when it came to coloring the final paper plate to represent planet earth. I tried to give her tips but refused to do it for her and she walked away in tears, refusing to finish.

So imagine my surprise when she hands me the picture (above) she did of space including planet earth. She described it to me, regurgitating the tips I had given her about drawing. Sometimes I guess we just need to give them a little time and some space. (total accidental pun-ilicious moment!)

Shocking Everyone at the Pool with Our Phoques.

The haiku of blog posts in honour of this month’s Raising Multilingual Kids Carnival. The Carnival will be out around the 24th. Sign up at the link above to get it while it’s hot!

Edvar Munch's The Scream

Edvar Munch’s The Scream via Wikipedia

There were times I thought I couldn’t possibly embarrass myself linguistically more than accidentally telling my boyfriend’s mother that I was muy embarazada or ‘very pregnant’. Her genuine excitement put her in my good books forever. Anyone who can set aside religion to embrace an accidental baby is my kind of gal. And now she takes everything I say in Spanish with a grain of salt.

Embarrassment-babies aside, I did manage to take my verbal gaffs to a whole new level — this time involving my kids to boot!

Here’s how we became total social pariahs at the pool. Was it my penchant for topless sunbathing? Nope. I packed those babies away after they decided to go South for the winter and never return home.

It was the little seal toy Pea and Plum were given in Singapore by their swim teacher as a parting gift. It’s also a toy Pacifique wouldn’t leave the house without, a toy she loves to cradle and calls: Phoque-y which is pronounced FUCK-Y.

Picture a lovely crystal blue pool, sun shining, kids splashing happily. And then imagine an argument break out between two sisters over a toy:

“Give me back my FUCKY!”

“No it’s my turn for FUCKY!”

Blah blah blah Fuck, blabla bla fucky. One ends in tears, the other holds the prized possession.

“Oh my sweet little fucky. I love you little fuck. Isn’t he cute?”

Un phoque in French is –as you’ve probably guessed by now –a seal.

And that lovely happy scene I painted? It turned to an expat poolside version of Munch’s Scream. Me? I was left nervously laughing and mumbling about the joys of multilingual parenting whilst packing the pool toys, cradling my boobs, and glancing around for a guard to call me a tuk-tuk home.

What painfully awkward moment would you like to share? I promise, it’s feels good to let it out. And yes you should trust the woman who vlogged about diarrhea and car journeys.

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This month’s Carnival is hosted by The European Mama. She is a rock star on so many levels, I don’t know where to start. Not to mention the incredible Annabelle from PiriPiri Lexicon who revived the Carnival. If I didn’t like and admire these women so much, I’d cower in a corner, yellow with envy at their unbelievable productivity and kindness. Please check out all their hard work showcasing a bunch of great entries!

Multicultural Kids Blog Telephone Travel VLog!

Via flickr.com ajc1

Via flickr.com ajc1

Hello Everyone!

Once again I find I am pushing myself to the edge of my comfort zone. In fact, I think I’ve pretty much jumped off the cliff, free-fall, no parachute.

The wonderful bloggers from the Raising Multicultural Kids Blogging group have decided to take a page out of Blunt Moms and to our own little traveling telephone round.

This is a great group and you will learn lots of interesting things about traveling with kids. I apologies in advance for the uhms, and you knows. It was late, I was tired, and mostly mortified at outing my story. (And my friend had kindly warned me about avoiding YKs and Likes so my video is inevitably peppered with them -sigh.)

My question, “What is your most memorable travel experience that was completely unplanned?” came from Amanda atMaroc Mama and I am asking Bronwyn from Journeys of the Fabulist (how fabulous is that name!) “What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made traveling with your kids?”

Please make your way around the circle. I promise most bloggers will be more succinct than mine. I apologise for hiding in the shadows but you really don’t want to see that much of me that late at night. Oh and one last warning, you may wish to visit the loo before.

#MKB Multicultural Kids Blog traveling video Log telephone circle. from Cordelia Newlin de Rojas on Vimeo.

BluntMoms Christmas Telephone Circle Vlog Extravaganza

Welcome to the BluntMoms Vlog Telephone Circle.
I am thrilled to be sandwiched between Kyla Cornish, who is asking me a question and Anne Radcliffe who is answering my question.

Jump into the circle and enjoy the ride!

Without further ado: